The Lost Days I

October 30, 2011

I have a few photos from places I went that I never wrote about.


On this date, I took a bus trip with the International Society of Hitachi-Daigo to Miyagi Prefecture. I was invited by a nice, older lady that helped me out when I was sick. It took about five hours one way. We went to help clean up an area that was hit by the tsunami in March.


Our base was at a school, and when I went in to go to the restroom, I noticed that there were water stains on the first floor ceiling. There was still debris stacked up in the hallways; warped files, and muddy papers. I heard later that some used the gym as a refuge, and they had to climb up to the rafters because the water came so high and created a whirlpool on the floor below. It must have felt like the end of the world.


Our task was to clean an area that had gravestones scattered about from the force of the water. We were to put any debris in one bag, and hold onto any money and bones we found. The word "bones" was kind of hard to hear. Ironically, I was the first to find a bone, and I found many more after that, including a large piece of a femur. It was comforting that these were bones of people that were previously decided, but finding the bones of humans buried in sand and under trash is just weird. That's all I can say about that.


We were later told that the place we were cleaning up used to be a park. I had thought that a park toy seemed out of place in a graveyard. You couldn't tell what it used to be before, and I thought because of the gravestones, it was a large graveyard. The tsunami had carried the large, very heavy stones, hundreds of meters. My friend pointed out a tree in the distance with a white sheet high in the branches, about two or three stories high, remarking that was how high the tsunami came.


The park was surrounded by about 250 homes and 500 lives that were destroyed. The house above was finished a month before the earthquake. They kept mentioning the irony. I couldn't understand the point of doing so.


Finding and collecting human bones was an odd feeling, but it didn't really feel sad. What moved my heart the most is when I found a small, blue toy car. The small, personal items scattered around and buried in the mud--glasses, scraps of clothing, jewelry, toys--were the most harrowing of all. By the end of it all I just felt "not there". I had left a little piece of me behind.


Going on this trip showed me how much work still needs to be done. There was trash everywhere. Everywhere you looked, there were little white scraps sticking out of the dirt. When we left, I saw a small boat still sitting on the edge of a rice field, and all the land close to the sea was left barren, where elsewhere crops were being harvested.


But the oddest thing was the feeling of, no matter the devastation, how beautiful the place was. Tall pine trees stood like ancient solders, stretching out to the sea. A Jr High lay empty, windows shattered, magnificent in its emptiness.


I felt awful on the trip home, either from a lack of water or my energy being drained. We stopped at a rest station and I thought I was going to be sick. I was in a fog, until I saw this, and it made the trip back home just a little better.


When we got back to my friend's house, she went into the kitchen and grabbed some salt and had me come into the foyer. She threw the salt over my shoulders and then gave me some to rub on my hands. She said it was to prevent anything following us back from the graveyard where we were working. Now that I think about it, it was literally and figuratively a graveyard, was it not?


Going through these pictures has torn at my heart. After such tragic events, it is is so easy to forget the sorrow we feel at the start, the shock. One of the reasons I wanted to come to Japan is that I wanted to help in anyway possible. I felt so hopeless just sitting and watching the images flash by on the television screen. I was planning on volunteering for a few days in Sendai for winter break, but the organization is also taking the winter holiday as well. I took a day off of work in March the last week I am here because I will then have a four day weekend, but I am wishing I could stay longer. They have a apartment you can use if you are helping out, so I wouldn't have to worry about renting a hotel. I would love to stay a week... but I already have my return ticket. I wonder, can I change the date?


Well we will see. Just know, there is still much work to do. If you have a chance to help, please do. :)

~Stephanie
Week 22

Tuesday, December 6th-Monday, December 12th, 2012


I am SO jittery today. @_o As you know, I had the stomach flu last week, and up until this Saturday I was still feeling pretty sick. It originally started after I took my medicine in the morning, so I irrationally avoided taking my medicine because I was afraid I would throw up again. I started taking the medicine again yesterday, so hence the jitteriness. I was thinking, and even though this feeling sucks, it actually keeps me on track, because I feel I have to do something to distract myself from the feeling. If I had to choose anxiety or depression, I would choose anxiety. (Although a low mood sometimes is really good fodder for inspiration.) Although this isn't real anxiety, its manufactured. Real anxiety is much worse... but still, I think depression is the worst of them all.

So it has been cold this week. Like every night it is below zero. I woke to the most frosty landscape I have seen yet this morning. And sadly, my plants are like dead from the cold. ;_; When I went out to heat my car up this morning, there was a stream of iciclies hugging the side of my doors. But the weird thing is, I am kind of getting used to the cold. I figured this out when it was five degrees and it didn't feel that bad.



On Thursday I actually woke up to snow instead of frost! It was the first snow of the season, which is surprising to me because of how cold it had been. It snowed a bit in the morning, and then turned to rain. By the end of the day the clouds had begun to break up a little, which made for beautiful evening skies.



This week (and month) is all Christmas for my classes. I have the same lesson for all fourteen of my classes. This is why major holidays rule. For the lesson, I made a tree and little black and white "ornaments" that are the vocabulary for the lesson. The words are: Snowman, Snowflake, Santa Claus, Reindeer, Bell, Gingerbread Man (Cookie for the littler kids), Stocking, and Candy Cane. So we learn the words, and then I do a practice activity depending on the class. For the little ones, I have them pick the word I say. For the older ones, I have them do an activity with "I want a ..." or "I like ...". And then they get to pick their favorite ornament, color it, cut it out and paste it to their class tree.


In the beginning I also have some of the classes sing "Oh Christmas Tree". One of my 5/6 year classes practiced beforehand and could sing it without even looking! I was very proud.

While they are coloring, I put on the Christmas CD, which only has three songs and three karaoke tracks. (Which gets a little annoying after hearing it for the 25th time through.) One of my students, Keigo, ended up making his own lyrics to all of the songs. (I mentioned this boy before, he is a "class clown" type. He is hilarious at times, but he also makes my head hurt.) He sang this to "We Wish you a Merry Christmas"; "Keigo wa tensai da, Keigo wa tensai da, Keigo wa tensai da, hontou da yo." He is singing about how he is a genius. His antics made me laugh, but then again, gave me a horrible headache by the end too.

On Wednesday, I think, I was blessed with some strawberries at Higashidate! I was so excited, although I was a bit afraid, because I still wasn't feeling up to eating. They were so sweet! Much more sugary than the ones at home.


On Friday I was bombarded with adorable gifts from the 1st years at Ishii. They made me crepe paper candy, ice cream, flowers, a bow, and cake. I was so happy.


On Saturday I went out to eat at the Panini Dog cafe in Tanagura. It is such an adorable little cafe, but no one is ever there. It makes me sad. I got a hot tropical tea and a chicken pizza. Most excitingly, my stomach faired the storm farely well! Made me so happy I could cry.




After I ate I went on a walk and found this cool temple. It is weird, little gems like this are hidden in plain sight everywhere.



On Sunday I finally made myself go on a walk in the afternoon. I was just going to walk around the block, but then I remembered this nice little walking trail in the forest (that is never used by anyone of course) right by my house. The weather was so beautiful, it was a perfect fall day at the beginning of winter. I was able to take a glimpse at the valley below me. And the sky just struck me as being so big and wonderful yesterday.


On the way down a man warned me to beware of mountain pigs, because there are a lot of them in the area in the morning and evening, especially since people don't come on the road that often. At least I am pretty sure he ment mountain pigs. I actually heard something like "manton pikku", which I thought didn't sound very Japanese. (After a while you just get a feel for it.) Sometimes, well actually most of the time, it is more confusing when Japanese people try to speak to me in English. Speaking with the staff of my company is one of those times. Sometimes I give up and switch to Japanese.

Earlier in the week I was reading a manga, and I was really happy that I could understand around 80% of it with a first read. Lately, I have been studying words and kanji using kid's study materials I bought at the 105 yen shop. Its not really good for retention, but if I study it and then see it later, that helps substantially compared to not knowing it at all. I figure if I cram a lot into my head, some is bound to pop out when I need it some day.

Saying this, I have decided to study even harder, and when I get back to the States send my resume to various manga and Japanese novel publishers. I already made a list! I really want to translate or use my Japanese in some way, whether at a job or by freelancing. I am actually pretty confident now in my abilities, so I am very happy. I am also probably going to take a translation for media course at a school in Torrance. They have contacts in the industry for jobs and such, and I like the course layout. It is not a Japanese course, but rather a translation course, because even if you know the language, translating it is very tricky. I find this when I try to translate, mainly for family or friends. I will understand what is being said, but the English explanation is hard to grasp adequately.

I also am going to continue doing voice overs. I had been nervous to set up my mic, and I finally just did it yesterday. I have some bad self esteem when it comes to things I really like to do. I am so afraid of failing sometimes, I just can't bring myself to try in the first place. But I am getting better at stuffing down those bad feelings. I was updating my resume as well, and I actually have done pretty well so far. I have like ten projects in all fields. I do want to take it slow though, because when it becomes too much about money, and not the fun kind but the kind that pays the rent, then it becomes very stressful and unfun. Thus I want to get a main job, and do voice over on the side, building up little by little while having a great time.

Next week and it will only be two days until I go home!

See you then ~ ;D
Week 21

Tuesday November 29th -Monday December 5th, 2011

On Tuesday I had a great time playing with some of my 5th and 6th years during break. We played volleyball, and I hadn't laughed that hard in a while. :D

And then on Thursday I got the stomach flu, so I didn't really do anything for the rest of the week. I was supposed to go up to Fukushima city and do some sightseeing, then I was going to stay over night and go take a Japanese test at Fukushima University on Sunday. Instead I slept for 16 hours straight on Friday to Saturday. >.> And I still have it today... -_-

I did spend the majority of my week preparing my Chrismas lesson. I will take pics and post for the next one. I am having each class learn some Christmas decoration words, and then they get to color and paste their decoration onto a "class tree". If I have another class with them, they will learn how to say what they want for Chrismas in English. :D

Nothin more!