Everyday it hurts so much. I have never experienced this kind of pain. It almost feels like I cannot go on sometimes.
A while ago I shut out these feelings, pretended they didn't exist. But that made it even more painful. I convinced myself it was okay, when it wasn't. Even though the pain was different, it still hurt. It was an empty pain. A meaningless pain.
Right now the pain I feel is threatening to tear me apart. But like the sun tears apart the darkness in the morning sky, it is a pure pain, a pain that brings forth something better. However cliche, the phrase "better to have loved and lost to have never loved at all" comes to mind. When I neglected my feelings, I was lost, thrown blind into a forest of uncertainty. Even now I am still lost, but I know I will find my path someday soon. I know where my home is.
The cold weather is making me especially homesick. I love the fall, it is my favorite season. I love Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas. I reheated my chicken soup for dinner and it reminded me of when I was little and we would stay, as a family, at a church lodge in the mountains. Some of my aunt's muffins, smothered in butter, would be wonderful right now. *happy sigh*
Speaking of feeling warm and comfy, remember the kotatsu? Now I still have neglected to take a picture, but I was watching a Japanese drama today, and they had this whole plot revolving around a kotasu that summed up the awesomeness of the thing perfectly! Please watch!
Watch: http://www.dramacrazy.net/japanese-drama/nodame-cantabile-episode-4/
(*Start from 6:00. The drama is called Nodame Cantable, it is a great drama and has fantastic music. :D)
I really don't want to go to school tomorrow. I am sick and I only have one class, which is this television thing between two schools, and like the whole country will be watching. To sum it up; it is really annoying and useless. But it is the last one! YAY!
I got invited to a cooking festival thingy at one of my schools today. It is next month. I am really excited! I really like that school. They also invited me to a speech festival! Sadly... I have to go to another school on the same day. D: I feel like the girl who was invited to the prom, and says yes, only to be invited to the prom by the person who she ACTUALLY wants to go with. >.> Well, not really. I am scheduled to go to school that day, and in exchange I get the 31st off! But still...
Okay, sleep time...
A while ago I shut out these feelings, pretended they didn't exist. But that made it even more painful. I convinced myself it was okay, when it wasn't. Even though the pain was different, it still hurt. It was an empty pain. A meaningless pain.
Right now the pain I feel is threatening to tear me apart. But like the sun tears apart the darkness in the morning sky, it is a pure pain, a pain that brings forth something better. However cliche, the phrase "better to have loved and lost to have never loved at all" comes to mind. When I neglected my feelings, I was lost, thrown blind into a forest of uncertainty. Even now I am still lost, but I know I will find my path someday soon. I know where my home is.
The cold weather is making me especially homesick. I love the fall, it is my favorite season. I love Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas. I reheated my chicken soup for dinner and it reminded me of when I was little and we would stay, as a family, at a church lodge in the mountains. Some of my aunt's muffins, smothered in butter, would be wonderful right now. *happy sigh*
Speaking of feeling warm and comfy, remember the kotatsu? Now I still have neglected to take a picture, but I was watching a Japanese drama today, and they had this whole plot revolving around a kotasu that summed up the awesomeness of the thing perfectly! Please watch!
Watch: http://www.dramacrazy.net/japanese-drama/nodame-cantabile-episode-4/
(*Start from 6:00. The drama is called Nodame Cantable, it is a great drama and has fantastic music. :D)
I really don't want to go to school tomorrow. I am sick and I only have one class, which is this television thing between two schools, and like the whole country will be watching. To sum it up; it is really annoying and useless. But it is the last one! YAY!
I got invited to a cooking festival thingy at one of my schools today. It is next month. I am really excited! I really like that school. They also invited me to a speech festival! Sadly... I have to go to another school on the same day. D: I feel like the girl who was invited to the prom, and says yes, only to be invited to the prom by the person who she ACTUALLY wants to go with. >.> Well, not really. I am scheduled to go to school that day, and in exchange I get the 31st off! But still...
Okay, sleep time...
12:48 AM |
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